First of all: Hi again. Have been off for a while, not answering questions ;-).
2. To start from the bottom up:
You start kde or X in general by typing "startx" or "X" (capitalised) or "/etc/init.d/kdm start" or maybe there is even another way. If you can start X with the init script, that way is preferable, because you can manage user sessions that way.
1. To stop the X server from starting at boot-time, you need to change your init scripts in a distribution-specific way. In Debian, you can install a program called rcconf for that (to make it easier). There must be program for Suse as well. Browse the docs. A good idea, if you're starting with linux is to install a packet manager such as apt-get or yum (in Suse and Fedora/RadHat). If you google for yum, you should find something.
You can always do the linux way and update init-scripts by hand, but this can break things in your distro and I can't quite recall exactly what to do. Also, distros have different directories. But usually, init-scripts should be under /etc/rc.d /etc/init.d and so on. Just have a look and you will find them. I don't have time to look up everything and describe here now. You should google for init-scripts and suse and I'm sure you'll find a lot.
Always mention at least your distribution/version! You can add it in your signature if you don't want to always type it. ;-)
Ubuntu 5.10 with custom kernel (2.6.16-suspend2),
Debian Sarge 3.1 and Etch
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