Thank you for your reply, it gave me some light.
ok I used this to stop current running services.
server# /etc/init.d/amavis stop
server# /etc/init.d/clamav-daemon stop
server# /etc/init.d/spamassassin stop
they stopped and free about 150 MB of ram, very nice, I then editied the apache2.conf file and raise its resources, things went much better from there.
I think using your way to exclude them from start up on boot will work once I change the services name, but I will try this later once I make sure that every thing is stable with my setup.
Again thank you for lighting the way for me.